the bandits…

bye, bye sf…

dear sf, we are sad to leave you. Especially our beloved lower haight. living above walgreens was so convenient, yet so sad. cheeto and i will miss the sounds of riff raff and fire trucks in the middle of the night. we’ll also miss james, the security guard. such a nice man. mostly we’ll miss the convenience of having our friends a few blocks away.

making the move to the suburbs was a difficult choice for all of us. but alas, i finally have a garage and enough space to have all my toys in one spot. we now live in the retirement hipster community. there are strollers and tight jeans, vintage t’s and nice cars…a mix i’m willing to put up with. our house though, goddamn our new place is fucking awesome.

bye for now lower haight, bye for now sf.

hardly strictly rockridge…

we are moving to the 510. dont be sad sf, we’ll be back after we’ve burned oakland to the ground. leave no trace. other than tiny heat, jaime and bry, who else lives in oakland? danny glover maybe.

go see maus haus at amnesia this saturday.

lmao

rip…

someday she will be mine…

here’s to the volvo p1800. i’ve maybe seen 3 in real life. someday friends.
tomorrow is the first day of work. damn it, summer is over for me. where did it go?  where did it all fucking go. goodbye life of leisure.

my other gf…

so sweet.

i was driving through the mission today and here’s a lady in a red dress, hunched over this bike cart. she catches my eye, not only because of what she’s wearing/driving/ stroking. more so because her rack was about to fall out her dress, ah yeah!

bridge and tunnel

monday through friday i commute to the east bay. i’ve been commuting for 6 fucking years. every day i drive on the bridge and think of the following things:

1) escape plan if a missile or airplane crashes into the bridge. lower deck: along the railing, make my way to treasure island.  must drive in outer lanes only. if on upper deck, exit vehicle, keep window slightly open in case submerged, proceed to treasure island via side railing or use suspension cables to swing across (totally realistic) similar to donkey kong.

2) find the ghost of the bay bridge, sometimes a dark headless figure appears on the lower deck, supposedly where the motorist was killed after the ‘89 earthquake…drive in middle lanes for larger peripheral view.

3) can truckers/ vans see me when i stick my hand down gf’s pants

4) why did i ever quit smoking

5) how much would it cost to teleport somewhere

here’s some interesting bridge info

skinny jeans for hot pregnant girl…

for all you out there who can sew, i have a hot friend, no really she’s totally fuckable, hence her pregnancy. i was wondering if it was possible to make this girl some  skinny jeans, even though she’s pregnant as fuck. her legs will still look good in them jeans, right? she has a pretty small frame. just think about it, how fucking cute would that be? let’s help pregnant women stay in style. fuck elastic, man. lounge pants for 9 straight months sounds awesome at first, but-not sexy.

would you sleep with this pregnant ass bitch? i know adam would.

oh and if you’re in the mission this weekend, go by my old house…

read me…

this is a great book, so far i can’t put it down…